Monday, February 22, 2016

Beauty Fades With Time, Friendship is Forever

Faith checked her reflection in the mirror one final time. Her hair was perfect and her make up on point, she took a few steps back and did a couple spins, her red dress hugged her curves perfectly and with a little help from her black stilettos she had legs for days. As far as anyone else was concerned Faith was a strong, confidant woman. Even she sometimes forgot that she spent a long time pretending to be something she wasn't.  Then, at the already awkward age of 15 she nervously sat across from her parents at the dining room table and announced to them that she could no longer pretend.

From what his parents saw, Brice always had a smile on his face. He was full of energy, had a magnetic personality and was very popular. Now, as he sat across from them, eyes filled with pain and worry, they couldn't see any of that happiness. They sat, listening intently, as he explained to them that for as long as he could remember, he didn't feel like a normal boy. He knew there was something different about him. Physically everything about him screamed male but deep down inside he knew there was a beautiful woman blossoming. He broke down crying as he took a deep breath and said, "mom...dad..I'm Transgender". There was a moment of silence that seemed to last forever then almost in unison, his parents rose from the table, gathered him into their arms and hugged him as tight as they could muster. Then they sat back down and the only thing they said was "what can we do to help?" And so began his transition. His mom helped him come up with his female name. It was right before he was preparing to come out to a couple of his best friends. He almost didn't go through with it but his mom took the brush from his hands and started brushing his hair and said "you grew up with these boys, they will love you no matter what, just have faith...Faith" and that's the name that he stuck to.

Almost 8 years have gone by since that conversation took place but the emotions still struck her like it happened this morning. She knew how lucky she was, her parents were by her side through every step of her transition to this point. When she decided she wanted to have her beasts done her mom sat with her looking through books of boobs and helped her pick the perfect ones. She taught her how to do make up and how to choose clothes that worked for her, it's been an amazing bonding experience for both of them.

When she turned 23 she decided she wanted to move to a place where nobody knew her so she packed her stuff and moved to the big city. Here she had a great job and an amazing group of friends. Transgender wasn't a word she spoke very often, not because she was ashamed but because she felt that in order to live the life she had worked so hard to acheive nobody needed to know that she was hiding a penis under her frilly dresses.

She lost track of time as she drifted down memory lane and when she snapped back to reality and looked at the clock on her night stand she realized if she didn't get going she was gonna be late so she quickly grabbed her purse and her jacket and rushed out the door.

Six months ago, while Faith was getting her nails done, she overheard a conversation between two women about a big beauty pageant.  Their banter continued and then she heard something that really perked up her ears, according to the women this pageant was very high end, showcasing the brightest most beautiful women. She decided then and there that she had to, at the very least, look into this a little more. She practically flew home after her appointment to do some more research. Before she could even think about competing she first had to fill out a lengthy application. Out of hundreds only 50 women are chosen to continue to the week long audition phase. Throughout the week cuts are made until only 25 women remain and those 25 women then spend a whole day trying to impress 5 judges who, at the end of it all, pick one lucky winner who outshines the rest. Faith knew she never had to prove anything to anyone, this wasn't even about anyone else. Her reasons for wanting to compete were completely self serving, and rightfully so. Faith was proud of the women she had become but getting to this point wasn't easy, there was a lot of struggling,  a lot of physical pain and mental anguish, not to mention extreme emotional exhaustion, and there was so many times she almost gave up but she didn't, and each hurdle she overcame just made her more determined then ever, and this pageant would be the final hurdle that makes it all worth while, even if she didn't make it past the application part she was proud of herself for at least having the courage to try. So with no expectations she spend 3 hours meticulously filling out the application. Three months went by with no news and Faith dismissed her pageant idea. One day after work she was puzzled when a large envelope appeared on her step. She could hardly believe her eyes as she read the enclosed paperwork informing her that she had made it through to the audition phase, she called her mom to tell her the amazing news and they ended up sobbing on the phone for a whole hour, Faith had never been happier.

Finally, it was the first day of auditions. Faith sat in her car in front of the auditorium giving herself a pep talk. She was more nervous then she expected and the nerves only got worse as she watched all the gorgeous women walking into the building. She climbed out of her car and rushed up the stairs. In her haste, she completely missed a step and lost her footing. Grasping at the air, trying to find anything to help steady herself, she ended up grabbing the purse of the girl walking in front of her, but instead of regaining her composure she fell anyway and took the innocent bystander down with her, "oh my gosh I'm so sorry!!" She started gathering up the contents of the woman's purse that had been emptied onto the sidewalk, "really it's fine, are you OK? " the woman knelt down to help gather the remaining stuff.  Both women stood up, Faith was a little taken back, standing in front of her was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. Her long blonde hair was pulled up into a bun with stray tendrils cascading down onto her bare shoulders that, like the rest of her skin,  looked as smooth as silk and sparkled slightly in the sun. She had emerald green eyes, a cute little nose and perfectly plumped lips. Her voice was soothing and when she giggled it made Faith's heart pitter patter slightly. "Um...are you OK? " the woman asked again. Faith could only nod as the girl grabbed her hand giving it a shake, "hi I'm Daisy....and you are..."
"Oh right sorry, I'm Faith"
"Nice to meet you Faith, let me ask you this, you already tries taking me out on the stairs, what's next? You gonna pull a Tanya Harding on me?"
"Oh god no! This was an accident I'm really very sorry" Faith was so embarrassed until she realized that Daisy was laughing, "I'm just bugging you, no harm done, of you hadn't tripped me I'm sure I would have done the honor myself at some point, anyway again it was nice meeting you, I gotta pee so I'm gonna literally run away from you right now" and with that she turned and started jogging across the pavement, Faith couldn't help but stand there mesmerized by her as she disappeared into the crowd.

Once she was signed in and had been given her contestant number Faith was pointed in the direction of the dressing area. As soon as she walked through the curtain she was met with deafening noise, frantic women running every which way and the scent of hairspray that was so strong it stung her nose. Amidst the chaos she suddenly felt very anxious and overwhelmed with regret. What was she doing here? Why did she think this was a good idea? She turned tail to leave and collided with someone who was trying to get through the curtain, it was Daisy, "Well if it isn't you..again. We have to stop running into each other like this...literally" Daisy laughed loudly and Faith made a feeble attempt to smile back as she again, tried to leave, "hey are you alright? You look like you're about to pass out" fighting the urge to projectile vomit and burst into tears all at the same time, Faith just shook her head, "No...no this was a mistake I shouldn't be here. I have to get out of here" she burst through the curtain and took off running outside.

Reaching the stairs, Faith finally stopped. She lifted her face to the sky and took a long deep breath as she sat down. The sun felt warm and comforting as she put her elbows on her knees and plopped her head into her hands. A few minutes later she became aware of a presence beside her, she lifted her head to see who it was, "this is what they call fate, this is the exact spot where you, me and the stairs all met for the first time...awwww!" Shielding her eyes from the sun she was barely able to make out Daisy's figure, she put her head back in her hands and tried to ignore her but she sat down right beside her.
"You feeling any better?" Faith shook her head, "I'm quitting, there's no way I can beat any of these girls"
"Maybe you're right...maybe neither of us have any business being here BUT none the less here we are. I signed up on a dare..then when I was chosen I wasn't gonna come. Then it occurred to me that I had already gotten further then I ever thought I would so in a sense I kinda already won." Faith hadn't thought about it like that, "and now it doesn't matter how far I get cause everyday I make it through is really just a bonus prize"
"I don't understand why you're worried, you're better looking then any of those women back there"
"Aw well aren't you a doll and honestly I'm not worried. Stressing out won't change the outcome of things...tour already a winner Faith, now all you need to do is hold your head high, do the very best you can and have fun."
"Thanks Daisy I feel a thousand times better"
"Good now let's go put on our big girl panties, smile till our faces melt off and rack up some bonus prizes! Maybe we will get lucky and one or more of those plastic women will fall off the stage" Daisy stood up and held out her hand, a giggle escaped from between Faith's lips as she stood up and grabbed it, then hand in hand they made their way back into the auditorium.

Audition week was tough. Learning choreography and practising speeches all while picking outfits and hairstyles hardly left any time to do anything other then sleep. Daisy and Faith were inseparable the whole time, laughing and joking, making fun of the other contestants and most importantly celebrating as they survived the cuts at the end of each day. Finally the last day of audition week arrived. After 7 long hours of rehearsal the ladies were told the final list would be posted before the night was over and set free until then. All Faith wanted to do was shower and maybe take a nap but Daisy had other ideas and the next thing she knew, they were sitting in a sports bar, drinking beer and playing pool. As Daisy was about to take her, a man stumbled up to her from behind and wrapped his arms around her waist "you wanna snuggle baby? You're looking so fine I'd never turn you down baby" she wrestled away from him but he just kept coming at her, groping her and even trying to kiss her. No matter how hard she fought she couldn't break free of his grasp. Faith tried to help by pulling him away, he pushed her away from him and made one last attempt to grab Daisy, with all her might she pushed him as hard as she could causing him to stumble backwards and trip over a table. He recovered quick and as soon as he was back on his feet he was rushing at Daisy with his hand balled into a fist. She coward away from him but before he had had a chance to swing he was grabbed from behind, spun around and found himself face to face with Faith. "You dumb cunt you're gonna regret getting in my way!" She swung her fist before he even got a chance, connecting with his jaw he was out cold instantly. Faith tried to guide him gently to the floor but something on his belt snagged her skirt and as he went down, so did it. She stood there for a split second not sure how to react then realizing the package she tried so hard to hide was suddenly very exposed she quickly pulled her skirt back up and ran as fast as she could out of the bar and back to the hotel.

After she finally got her shower and was in comfortable clothes, Faith wandered down to the lobby. She spotted Daisy across the room. Before she could flee Daisy spotted her too and came running over. Faith didn't know what to say, she was so embarrassed not to mention she was pretty sure her new friend probably hated her or thought was a freak. "How does your hand feel?"
"It's a little tender but I'll live...look Daisy I owe you an explanation"
"Wait Faith stop, you don't owe me anything...you were gone before I realized what was going on but if you had stuck around I would have been able to tell you...I already knew" Faith looked at her confused, she was always so careful when they were changing how could she have possibly found out?
"You already knew? But how? And for how long?"
"Pretty much the whole time. Remember that first day after you wigged out? You went into the bathroom to refresh yourself, what you didn't know is I came into the bathroom right behind you, heard you peeing and noticed you were standing up...I mean I know you're awesome but no woman is awesome enough to stand up and pee...only men can do that" Faith felt her face get hot, she had been so enthralled by Daisy's friendship that day that she forgot to lock the door behind her "I understand if you think I'm weird and never wanna talk to me again"
"Faith I've known this whole time and it hasn't made me love you any less, if anything it made me love you more and if you ask me you're still more woman then anyone else in this room...me included cause I don't think any of them could muster up enough courage to compete in this pageant knowing it could possibly end really fucked up...is know I couldn't. And then after a week of physical hell to still have enough fight in you to knock the fuck out of some drunk weirdo defending my honor...well I'm pretty sure that makes you super woman" Faith could no longer fight the tears filling her eyes, she embraced Daisy as tight as she possibly could "Daisy I don't think you realize just how much what you just said means to me. As soon as I started transitioning I went out of my way to avoid friendships specifically cause anyone I tried to tell got weirded out and stopped talking to me. You didn't know me from a hole in the ground but you've shown me more love and kindness in the last week then anyone besides my parents have my whole life"  after another long embrace Daisy wiped the tears from Faith's eyes "come on girlfriend let's go see if we won another bonus prize" and together they walked over to see if their names were on the list. Faith scanned up and down each row but her name couldn't be found, Daisy wedged in behind her and also couldn't find her name, "well looks like no more bonus prizes" she pretended to pout "you OK? "
"You know what Daisy, I'm better then OK. So I didn't make it to the pageant,  big deal, I'm still walking away a winner and I won the beat prize of all, love, acceptance and a pretty epic beat friend" Daisy smiled and kissed Faith on the cheek, "good riddance to this stupid pageant, personally I think these bitches voted you out cause they were threatened by you"
"Why would they be threatened by me?"
"They're beauty is only skin deep...you on the other hand, are gorgeous on the outside and also have an absolutely dazzling inner beauty and that makes you the most beautiful person in my eyes" Then Daisy wrapped her arm around Faith's waist and the two of them skipped out of the auditorium.

After she finished packing Faith called her mom to tell her the news, " Aw that's too bad honey I'm sorry"
"Thanks mom but really I'm not even a little bit disappointed, yeah walking away with a crown would have been amazing but I'm still proud of myself for making it as far as I did and the prize I won is 1000 times better then any crown"

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